The Top Three Things I Wish I Had Known When Chef Justin Was Diagnosed with Autism
By Donna Richards
When my son Justin was diagnosed with autism at the age of three, I thought the world had stopped spinning. The doctors painted a bleak picture—saying he might never speak, might never live independently, and would likely need to be institutionalized. In that moment, I was overwhelmed by fear, grief, and guilt. But years later, as I watch Chef Justin in his kitchen—creating gourmet meals, laughing with his siblings, and sharing his story with the world—I realize how much I didn’t know back then. If I could go back and whisper three truths into my younger self’s ear, here’s what I would say:
1. The Diagnosis Is a Beginning, Not an Ending
When you first hear the word “autism,” it can feel like a life sentence. But what I wish I had known is that a diagnosis is not a death sentence—it’s a roadmap. It’s a tool that helps you understand your child better, not a definition of their limitations. For Justin, the label helped us get services, therapies, and support. But it never captured his spirit, his humor, or his passion for cooking. The diagnosis didn’t end his future—it opened up a different kind of journey. One filled with challenges, yes, but also with unbelievable joy and unexpected victories.
2. Progress Isn’t Always Linear, But It Is Always Possible
There were days when I thought we were going backward. Days when meltdowns felt endless, words disappeared, and nothing seemed to work. I wish someone had told me that regression, plateaus, and detours are all part of the process. Progress in autism isn’t a straight line—it’s more like a winding road through the mountains. Sometimes the climb is steep, but the view from the top is breathtaking.
Justin didn’t speak until he was eight years old. Now, he tells stories through food, social media, and public speaking. He didn’t take the traditional route, but he found his own path. And that’s what matters most.
3. There Is Power in Community, and You Are Not Alone
In the early years, I felt isolated—like no one understood what we were going through. I wish I had reached out sooner, because finding a community of autism parents, advocates, and educators changed everything. It reminded me that I wasn’t crazy, I wasn’t failing, and I wasn’t alone.
Sharing our story through Autism Family Circus has brought healing not only to others but also to our own family. I’ve learned that when you tell the truth—about the messiness, the miracles, and the milestones—you invite others to do the same. Together, we become stronger, more hopeful, and more resilient.
If you’re just beginning your autism journey, please hear this: There is life after the diagnosis. Beautiful, meaningful, purpose-filled life. Your child is not broken. They are different—and different can be extraordinary.